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Man in the fire :iconbriathecon:briathecon 1 0 Canyon lake :iconbriathecon:briathecon 2 0 Camp fire :iconbriathecon:briathecon 1 0 Sunset on the water :iconbriathecon:briathecon 9 7 Shore at Crabtree Wash :iconbriathecon:briathecon 5 2 True Arizona sunset on water :iconbriathecon:briathecon 5 14
Literature
Back Here
It's not so nice and good
reading about these authors who wrote so courageously
and hearing you never went home that night
My fears were just confirmed
And I want to say something,
I just don't know how
If you were near-by
I'd pass you a note or something
But you're way far away
where I can't touch you
And I'd hate to say it
but I do like you
And it doesn't make a difference anymore
as if it ever did
All that really matters right now
is that you're okay and maybe you'll stop
For her or for me
and things will get better
and you wont make me cry
Cause the more I see you like this
the bigger the hole gets
I really hope that you'll be sorry
and come back just you
It will be nice and good all over again
No courageous authors or documenting that night
It will be better and we'll always be friends
:iconbriathecon:briathecon
:iconbriathecon:briathecon 1 2
Literature
And You Say Whatever
And all's suspended in air
Not able to see it until it hits
You brush by, you knock down
Walking on with no apologies or recognition
I can't move;
There's a pain I can't bare
Your smile is fair but it's dark
Maybe soft lighting improves everyone's attraction
Chanting followed by bells
Refusal is your best
I wasn't here, I don't know where to put it
Look at things in a different way, in a higher light
They gave you a weird nickname
And you hate when they call you by it
But that's how it goes
And to you these words should be offensive
But all's suspended in air
Not able to see it until it hits.
:iconbriathecon:briathecon
:iconbriathecon:briathecon 0 2
Literature
And This Was Important...
Repeat my repetition
make me feel like you stole it
Cause my minds going fast
and this songs on slow
While tiny cuts on my leg talk
they're forced to breathe
Because with me,
they walk
Heavy accented girls appear
No reason, no reason
Get out of here
You don't like me, I know
I love you internally,
so...
Repeat my repetition
make me feel like you stole it
Cause my minds going fast
and this songs on slow
As if it couldn't be worse
I've just discovered that my tears glow
In the dark, I've lit a spark
now its easier to find me,
If you want to find me
Otherwise I'll sit and salivate
that's okay
Bruises, Bruises more
therefore…
Repeat my repetition
make me feel like you stole it
Cause my minds going fast
and this songs on slow
Face me, face me
You're so fast-pacing
Oh, I ache
and we're too far apart
You can't make me better over there
I can't hold you over here
It's starting to get harder, you know
I might as well just go…
Repeat my repetition
make me feel like you stole it
Cause m
:iconbriathecon:briathecon
:iconbriathecon:briathecon 0 0
Literature
And That Somebody Knows
I've been writing and talking
to no one
I love the way you make me feel
but i hate the way that love feels
And sometimes
nothing is easy, anymore
And sometimes
those little things don't matter, anymore
and everything I meant to say,
It just never came out right
and I'm documenting these feelings
so i'll remember you forever
I just hope this time, things end better
Seems I've been writing and talking
to no one
And lately,
my heart has been beating faster and faster
I just want to know where we stand
And if i was there
I could take your hand and that'd be okay
I just don't like the way things have gone
and i feel so guilty and betraying
oh,
fix me, fix me
i love you
and,
get me, get me
i love you
And i'm still not sure
if anyone was there
when i was writing and talking,
then.
:iconbriathecon:briathecon
:iconbriathecon:briathecon 0 0
Literature
And If This Isn't Obvious
I keep checking and it's driving me crazy
This,
is driving me crazy
Don't you understand, you don't understand;
I can't handle this
The more I say it, the more I regret you
I leave in three days and this better get better
I know I say too much and I know that it's always the same
You hate too much,
You hate everything good and you are everything bad
but I love you
Maybe I'm too much
Maybe this space isn't enough;  
I can fix this
I'll lay back, calm down
see if you care
I think I'm too much
And I'm thinking this space isn't enough
I keep checking and it's driving me crazy
And your talent is pouring out all over me
There's things I wouldn't want you to know
There's things I don't want you to see
This,
is driving me crazy
Don't you understand, you don't understand
I can't handle this
I'm still baffled that you knew what I wanted
I'm still confused on the fact that I want you
so bad
And are you not here, because you know that I am?
You're hated too much
You like to be hated, but
:iconbriathecon:briathecon
:iconbriathecon:briathecon 0 0
Literature
Air Secret
And so i stash myself somewhere odd
And i'll write with this dirty pen
Cause all in all nobody knows where it has ever been
There's humming here
like a bad, bad place
Then there's the ticking of the clock
like it wants you out
So outside i float
where it isn't so odd yet my thoughts push me back in
I never search for approval when i yearn to say something
Nobody ever made the decison good enough
And i'm not sure where they want me to go
All i know is i can't really breathe
This is me
Not squirming to fulfill you
Not trying to calm down
I stash myself in this odd place
Where odd things i want can be found
They told me a lot
Like i'm crazy and i'm pretty
I tried my hardest to impress you
And now my hardest to make you love me
If this works well, i won't go to hell
Why, there won't be any bother
I know what you think when you see my flaming green eyes
And my tits that you wish were fair
You think i'm stupid with no respect
Well i'm smart enough to stash me away
and stay long enough to pro
:iconbriathecon:briathecon
:iconbriathecon:briathecon 0 0
Literature
A Play on Nothing
Next to me,
there is no you
Only entangled, confusing words;
a big mass of hurt
An empty picture frame just waiting to be filled
A miss-led tear drop waiting to find its puddle
and this is where i end up
and where i belong
I lived all night just to change this song
For once, you're ferocious
because i really like that word
I called but there was no answer
and i tried but there was no will
You blame only me for it all
but i am not the one with hands behind my back
And i never wanted you so bad
because you never seemed so very appealing
With your bruised shins and your cut-up knuckles
I came so far
The world is a rough place for us
because only rythm graces these waters
I hate those words,
and words like that
I hate those dreams
and those dreamy people
Misstaken time, misstaken life
Miss Taken
I'm too short for a short word
and too tall for a glass
I'm just a play on the colors and everything in them
And i like it
I liked you to yearn until you had nothing left
I liked you to hate until
:iconbriathecon:briathecon
:iconbriathecon:briathecon 1 0
Literature
Averagely Pleased
Burn down onto me;
I'll tell you how it went when I get home
And the days of looking outside for my insides
Your voice is young, I wish I was too
Leave me like this for days and hope I'll get better
But I hear it ringing inside you;
carrying on one note into my heart
And you don't understand these things
like you really need to do
No capitals
And solemn walks with tight bottoms
unaware that I'm watching you
Burn down onto me
Replicate the sound right through my bones
And the days of looking outside for my insides
You've come and gone, I wish I had too
Leave me like this for hours and hope I'll get better
on my own
I hear it ringing inside you;
Carrying on the note into my heart
And you don't understand these things
like you really need to do
There's no capitals
But solemn walks in tight bottoms
So unaware that I'm watching you
I hear it ringing through your bones,
it's coming into my heart
On my own,
I'll be better
when you return
Burnt down onto me:
understandings of things you never
:iconbriathecon:briathecon
:iconbriathecon:briathecon 1 2
Literature
Don't Say Can't
And when this happens I get a pain right down in there
and it stays longer than it ever should've come for
I look like her
Yeah, I look like her just for you
but it doesn't matter anymore
I have to pat it dry because it's ruined
And with the tears it all pretty much just burns
It hasn't made a difference, although I wish it had
Then it's back to saying stop and counting the ten minutes down
I'm waiting for you
I'm right here and it doesn't matter much
It's all imaginary now so I just wash it away
Yeah, that's where all your words go:
right down the drain
I have to pat it dry because it's ruined
And with the tears it all pretty much just burns
It hasn't made a difference, although I wish it had
Whatever,
It's pointless to pine
And I hate talking to you feeling that way
I guess I'll be here forever
and you just won't
It doesn't matter anymore
I have to pat it dry because it's ruined
And with the tears it all pretty much just burns
It hasn't made a difference, although I wish it had.
:iconbriathecon:briathecon
:iconbriathecon:briathecon 0 0
Literature
Eight Hundred Left Alones
I ripped the cover off this thing
And I want to call you
just to tell you
that you pissed me off
It's like my sources,
they're really running low
And I'm not so sure that you even know
how this is
When we're together everything is magically perfect
But the minute you leave
Reality comes crashing down on me
And I'm wondering how much I can take
Cause this is painful not being able to sleep
I ripped the covers off my bed
And I want to find you
just to show you
that you pissed me off
It's like all my everythings are running far away
And I really don't think you can see this happening
When we're together everything is magically perfect
But I'm always so nervous when it starts
The minute you leave
There's hardly any relief
Reality comes crashing down on me
I'm alone now
cause I left it all behind for you
I'm alone now
cause I left it to get better
I'm alone now
cause I'm probably too fucked up to carry on
I ripped the cover off the world
And I want to hate you
just to make you see
How incre
:iconbriathecon:briathecon
:iconbriathecon:briathecon 0 0

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Activity


deviantID

briathecon
Bria
United States
Current Residence: Mesa, Arizona
Interests
I had my spinal tap two days ago.
Details: We woke up at seven. I barely slept. We left at eight. There was a lot of traffic but thank God for the HOV lane. Joey and i got there at nine; before my parents even. My nerves were really, really getting to me. I felt like i was going to throw up and poop my pants. And my period managed to get ten times heavier just while we were there.
My appointment was scheduled for eleven. I was supposed to start taking my Valium at ten, but i started taking them at nine thirty-ish and by ten i had taken two of them. They were only 2mg each. And of course, they didn't do anything. The nurse came out and she said that she was going to give me more and then i told her that i had already taken some and apparently that wasn't okay (even though the doctor knew). So i took my last one (as directed on my prescription bottle) and regretted opening my mouth to the nurse because i didn't feel any different. They took me in a wheelchair back to the x-ray (she used an x-ray so she could see exactly where she was poking) and they wouldn't let my mom stay in there with me so that nurse was with me. She was really nice.
So i had to lay on my stomach and i had a death grip on the table. I started crying a little bit. They injected me with a local anesthetic. (How useless is that? I'm afraid of needles so you numb me…with a needle…) It burned a little bit but i was okay. Then she started. Pressure is what i was supposed to feel and it was what i felt but she hit a nerve or something and it felt like she was digging in my kidney. I was screaming. She told me to turn on my hips kind of and then it was in and it started. My opening pressure was 20 which is a little high. And she withdrew 15ccs of spinal fluid. In the middle of the procedure, the doctor kindly says "You need to lose 100lbs". (Really? Cause i was totally unaware.) Then she said something about "Now you know it wasn't too bad and you and your mom were freaking out for nothing" and i said "Yeah and let's pray i never have to have it done ever again" and she said "Oh. You probably will." Then she said something about the Valium and i said i didn't feel it at all and she said "Well your eyes are dialated but then again psuedotumor patients eyes are always dialated"  And i said "No, i think mine just get that way when i'm nervous" and she said "Sure" sarcastically. BITCH BITCH BITCH.
The procedure didn't take too long but i had to lay flat on my back at the hospital for an hour and a half, i think so a scab formed because if a scab didn't form then it would continue to leak. The nurse told me that i had to lay flat for 24 hours and not to take any medications with blood-thinning properties and to take it easy for a week. So i tried my hardest to lay flat but it hurts my back cause my back is all fucked up as it is.
So yeah. It was nightmarish. And i really want to punch the doctor who did it and my headache specialist.
But at least it's over and now i can get on my meds and feel better and start losing weight and then i can finally be happy and healthy.
Thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes <3

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:iconmeregoddess:
meregoddess Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday!   :iconcakeplz:
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:iconcarmineflame:
CarmineFlame Featured By Owner May 1, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav :D:thanks::heart: appreciate it xxxxxx
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:iconflorianhebel:
FlorianHebel Featured By Owner May 1, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you very much for the fav :D
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:iconxthumbtakx:
xthumbtakx Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2011
hi! thank you so much for the :+fav:!! :hug: :dalove: hope you'll check out the rest of my gallery! :D
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:iconthekillerview:
thekillerview Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2011
Thanks so much!
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:iconbriathecon:
briathecon Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2011
You're so welcome!
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:iconxmisslolox:
xmisslolox Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2011  Professional Artist
:iconlittleheartplz: :iconthanxsomuchplz: :iconbigfav4plz: :iconlittleheartplz:
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:icondubbelu:
dubbelu Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:icondbthx1::icondbthx2::icondbthx3:
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:iconem-smith:
EM-Smith Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
thank u so much for the vote
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:iconxmisslolox:
xmisslolox Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2011  Professional Artist
:iconredsparklesplz::iconthanksfavplz::iconthanksfavplz1::iconthanksfavplz2::iconthanksfavplz3: :iconredsparklesplz:
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